How to love your ADHD?
Ori Sela was and still has ADHD, after treating thousands of kids and adults in the water, failing because of his disorder, he now at the age of 43 teaches people how to love their disorder.
How to love your ADHD?
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
5 steps in life to love your disorder
- 20 years ago when I was 23 years old my friend asked me to join him to a lecture, so I asked him how long is the lecture and do I need to listen?? So he told me please for me, Just come. He is such a good friend so I went with him , The lecturer showed on the screen 15 points to know that you have AD…. something I was really bored at that time, all of a sudden my pulse was starting to be high, it’s like all 4 points she is talking about me, point number 5 “these kids when the teacher dictates, write a sentence leave a margin of 2 lines and again write 2 sentences and again margin, the margin are the time that they lose a teacher and they are in another world, I look for a camera in the lecture hall, I am starting to feel uncomfortable, why is she talking about me, why is she bringing me back to my childhood, I wanted to leave the room and escape but my legs couldn’t move, number 6 – Drawing helps them concentrate is about me, number 7- these kids look for danger and tend to hurt themselves – about me as well, it’s like looking at your lottery ticket and realizing you have 3 and 4…5. Numbers….. but a little different, this is my life she is talking about here, 8-14 points all me, number 15 these kids tend to answer before the teacher even finishes to ask the question, I feel I almost exploding, I want to shout, I am lifting my hand high, she is telling me questions at the end please, I am lifting my hand even higher with mmmmmm, Yes !! Only one question please, what’s your name? I say Ori ,And without getting permission I ask the question What if Hypothetically there is a kid that has all 15 points?
She thinks for a moment, you need only 7 points to know for sure that this kid has ADHD, 15 you say?? Probably not possible but if yes it’s a very troubled child, but there is a cure!!
I think to myself cure…. I need a cure? After 5 minutes I got out I couldn’t stay inside with all those emotions in me, I cried in the bathroom for 20 min, Yes men cry… and then, I had this smile on my face, I am not dumb!! I just got a small disorder, How did she call it ADHD?
I smiled because for the first time in my life I understood so many things about myself
We all have a disorder: Some of us have problems in finding partners in life, some of us are afraid from changes and others are crazy about cleaning.
So the first step of loving your ADHD or loving your disorder, is knowing and understanding our disorder, awareness.
Talk about your disorder
As I was thinking about my childhood I remembered one time when I was 12 the teacher came to me looked at my notebook, there were 2 written lines a drawing, 3 blank lines etc.…. she was very mad at me, I didn’t disturb the lesson or talked(this timeJ) I only did “Point 7”- drawing in order to listen, she told me to get out of class and think about what I did, As a kid I didn’t really understand what I did except the fact that I knew I was stupid and the teacher said how stupid I was to the entire class, I got out and didn’t really come back to school, until my parents talked to me and because I could relax when I swam in the water.
I want to take you to a different kid, Can you recognize this kid, If yes raise your hand?
Yes only 30% of you knew this is Michael Phelps but how many of you knew Michael was an ADHD kid and not only that most teachers wanted to kick him out of school, some teachers said as Debbie Phelps Michael Phelps’s Mom recalled and told the New York Times “Your son will never be able to focus on anything” or he is not gifted, at first it was hard for her to here all these bad thigs about her son, but the change happened when Debbie told the teachers, Yes!!! I know he has ADHD, yes you just told me he can’t concentrate but, what are you going to do to help him?
10% of the people around the world have ADHD (boys 14% girls 6%) but as we know the number is increasing each year with the amazing help of technology such as smartphones games etc.
From New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/10/sports/olympics/10Rparent.html?em=&_r=0
Debbie Phelps did something amazing to her son, she talked about his “D” (his disorder) and you know what the amazing part in all that is? There are probably more than 25% of the Olympic swimmers and athletes that are ADHD, but they don’t talk about it, If I ask the audience who goes to a therapist, probably no one is going to raise their hand but there are 50% in this audience that went to a therapist, I went to a therapist for 10 years and I really liked it, I think we need to work on our body and our soul. And to reduce stress from life.
Know if I ask you the same question. Who goes to a therapist most people would raise their hand.
Debbie Phelps changed the way people and especially how teachers looked at Michael, when you hide your problem at some point it’s probably going to explode.
Do you understand that people are still embarrassed about their ADHD? We are in 2015 only a few people from Millions of Athletes talked about their disorder.
Talk about your disorder, talk about the good things of it and you will see that from day by day it will be your advantage.
Know your limits.
Who has kids at the ages of 1 to 9, raise your hand?
Now I am going to ask you another question? What’s your limit, when do you lose it, when the kids don’t go to sleep?
10 years ago I said I am the most relaxed person on earth until I had kids, somebody wants to tell me what’s the exact time he or her are losing it?
I can tell you mine, it is 21:17, 21:28 If I got lucky with my wife last night, but that’s it, afterword’s I am toast, If they still don’t go to sleep, I can’t hear them, listen to them, talk to them. I know I am a different person after 21:17… or 21:28 and I don’t want to feel bad or to say “No” for everything they ask, It’s like asking the boss a question when he is in the worst day, the answer is going to be “NO” for sure, the example of the kids is very important, because you don’t want to be a bad parent, don’t you?
What you can do is try to talk to your kids, and ask them: “if you ask daddy at 21:00 P.M what’s going to be the answer? They said No!! But, and I say no but, when is a better time to ask daddy? When can daddy listen? In the moooooooorning… we knooooooow, I have to say I am still working on it, It’s like having a boarder, know your D limits and your life will change, you will be a better employee, boss, mom……
Who had the opportunity to be in a 3 hours meeting or more?
A couple of years ago we really wanted to get inside a chain of hydrotherapy pools and by signing this contract we will put ourselves in the front line in the world as you understand it was very important for me, we started the meeting everybody with suits beside me of course, and we said we will be here until there will be white smoke, both sides wanted this deal very much.
After one hour my CEO kicked me under the table and telling me “Ori” this is the time to concentrate, this is the money time now!! I feel my brain is done it’s toast, yes yes this is O.K and that is O.K yes it’s perfect for us….
I got another kick and he his signaling me with his fingers on the table like a man walking and then running, at first I didn’t understand, and he told me Ori now is the time to get out , to walk or run out side, I need you to be focused your giving everything away. In this meeting which was one of the most important meeting in my life, I would have signed on anything just to finish this meeting, I wanted “My precious”(Like in the lord of the ring) finishing and getting out, any way I got out, put lots of water on my face, ran for 5 min and came back inside the meeting when I read the last 3 point I agreed before going out it looked as it is crazy to sign it, my CEO told me you understand why I needed you to focus, It’s like you are a little kid and you just want everything to be finished, in those moments that you are not concentrating are all blank, it’s like people are talking, laughing and It’s like a dream, we continued for 40 min and then another kick underneath the table but this time the kick was very strong, I’m thinking “my precious” I will sign and agree on everything and it will all be over, my CEO pointed on the door, and with his head said to me I’m here it’s O.K just go, I didn’t understand what he was saying ,so he took my swim suit from the door and put it in my hand, he almost threw me out of the room just so I get inside the pool, swim a little and get my brain back, I came back with amazing energy for another 38 min and then another kick, this time I told everybody in the room my ADHD calling is me, see you in a while, who wants café?
We all have important meeting, important interviews I almost took my biggest deal in life and made it my worst one, I almost signed and agreed to things I would never agree on, only because I wanted it to be finished I wanted “my precious” more than anything in the world, We didn’t sign it that night because I wasn’t really there, I was trying to survive with my brain, But I learn a lot from that meeting, I am going to talk about my ADHD laugh about it, but most off all I will work with my limits, and try to push them from time to time, but I want to be 100% focused on things that are important for me, so today I don’t wait for the kick, I go out, I eat specific things, don’t abuse your brain know your limits and from tomorrow every time you’ll be in a meeting you will be more effective, more focused and you are going to feel better with yourself, take your disorder and make it you advantage.
Some people stay in the room even though they don’t hear, listen and they can’t concentrate any more, I have a medical excuse “ADHD Brake?” most people are happy for the brake, and every meeting I Find there is at list one person in the room that has the same problem.
Look for controlled danger
As you probably remember point number 7- people with ADHD look for danger, some of them go to drugs, driving fast sounds bad right?
Until I was 10 I opened my head 3 times, 15 stiches on my elbow, 10 stiches on my chin, knee ankle I have more than 100 stiches in my body it’s as if someone sewed my whole body, it’s good my mom was a registered Nurse so some of the times she sewed me at home, it’s always better to stay at home instead of going to the hospital.
My life changed when my parents threw me to the water some if it because I didn’t have time to heart myself witch is good as well, but the other side was that, my parents wanted to survive so they took us as I call it today “controlled danger”, climbing, slides, ski, swimming in the sea etc.
I am still doing all the extreme sports, such as skydiving, snowboarding, Speeding with a bike and I even coached, swam and broke the world record with 5 of my friends for the longest relay swim, swimming from Cyprus to Israel, swimming day and night.
Some people at the age of 40 are going to do a change in their lives, for all the wives out there it is better that your men will run a marathon or even an Ironman instead of them cheating on you, and it’s all about statistics, some men or women will do an Ironman and cheat on their partner, can’t win them all J
Most ADHD adults will look for risks some of them will know for sure that their product is the best one in all the market the problem with people that have ADHD is that they will take it to the edge they will try to risk it all, the first time I tried to open this huge swimming and hydrotherapy center, I almost lost all my money, my business and had to fire half of my company, which was one of the hardest things in life, to tell people with families some of them very good friends of mine, that ran after you in fire & in water goodbye, is very very hard.
The next time I did something very crazy I did one of the hardest thing for a dreamer and manager, I understood my “D” I knew my disorder very good, I knew my Advantages in life but most of all my disadvantages, and gave my seat to a better CEO to run my company.
Lots of Entrepreneur are ADHD, they believe in what they do, they are sure they are going to succeed, they have to take risks all the time, they have selective hearing, and because they need to control what they put in their head, when they fail they get up very fast and think about the next dream or project.
The more you learn about your ADHD you will know how to take people that complete you or even better people that will take you disadvantage and make it to the best success of your life.
5th chapter- learning English
When are you more effective?
I am going to Ask you a question, and you have to say yes or to the first question or to the second question.
The question is are you a morning person or a night person? Who is a night person raise your hand, and now who is a day person? I will get back to you with how to use it?
In order to talk to you and fulfill my dream to talk on TED I learned and improved my English, one of the times I came to class at 16:00 read the article started answering some of the questions, every time I was wrong the nice computer is telling me “AAA”, not such a good and nice noise “Do you want to try again?” I was looking for the “no” button, and couldn’t find it, I tried again and again this noise AAA, this time they move me to the next question and next, I wanted to succeed so much but more than that I couldn’t stand thinking anymore and I wanted to be home, 1 min after I got my scores, one of the teachers came to me and she tells me Ori I see all of your grades are 90 and more, you got a 50 don’t you want to do it again? Was it hard? Need help with something? My mind’s so empty that I can’t even think what she is saying. Eventually I said to her no I prefer failing instead of doing it again.
I was so mad about myself, I have a dream, I want it so badly to learn English and I can’t concentrate? I couldn’t sleep that night, in the morning I moved my schedule and went to class again and I failed again.
It’s so hard for me to express what I felt, I am 40 years old, and I can say bye bye to my dream, it took me 2 days to understand that I can’t focus on almost anything from 14:00 to 19:00 and from 21:28 until if I had……you know.
I know I am a very early guy, at 5:00 A.M I am sharp as a razor, and it doesn’t matter if I sleep 4 hours or 7, in one hour at my ADHD time I can finish more than 8 hours in the afternoon, but life isn’t always perfect and sometimes we do have a meeting, and important stuff to do at our ADD hard times, Yes it’s possible and you can find your natural pill, for me it’s exercising, jumping, stretching before, exactly like I did before this talk, of course some people outside thought I am crazy, but I don’t care, I want to be better, I want to do my best in everything.
In meetings I want to hear what people are saying to me, I really love people, and if I don’t want to hear I don’t jump before the meeting and my head is like I screen saver, with this ball going up and down and to the sides, you are there but you are not really there.
Exactly like my wife wants to do “the talk” at 23:00 P.M I put on the ADHD screen saver with one sentence every 30 seconds, the screen saver moves my head up & down, you are absolutely right.
I succeeded on concentrating at 16:00- 19:00, learning things that are hard for me but important, by jumping before, after 45 min, stretching and drinking café, after another 40 min doing stupid stuff like Facebook, putting your right hand up and down and liking some of the things, I am not saying Facebook is stupid not at all, but 3 min of things that make you laugh and you don’t need to think cleans you mind and gives you the next 30—45 min of focusing at that time I eat fruits, almonds and dates.
After treating thousands of kids and adults with ADHD in and outside the water, I can tell you that all of us have a disorder, all of us want to know how to concentrate for more hours, all of us want to succeed more and get better grades, all you have to think is: let’s say I have ADHD what’s my best hours in the day, and do the most important things for you, like goal in life, writing a speech, working on financial reports, organizing your holiday with your wife etc.
We all have a disorder, learn all about your disorder and you too will not only know how to live with it, you will make it your advantage in life.
I don’t like my ADHD I love it and loving it more in every day I live.
*In WEST swimming technique we learn how to elongate your muscles and opening your lungs, which is amazing to get more oxygen and by that getting more oxygen to your brain, which can help you concentrate longer.
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